Dear Reader

I work as a representative for Hunter Urology and I love my job.  I travel around and talk to healthcare professionals. I share my story, and of course my solution that brought an end to my life as incontinent. Throughout the years I have wondered a lot about what it is that makes incontinence so shameful and surrounded by taboo. And here is (one of) my conclusions: (Warning: Pocket-psychology in full blossom)

We start our lives by being totally helpless as small infants. We pee and poo in the diaper and have no concerns about the lack of control. When we do begin to have consciousness about pee and poo, we are around 2-3 years old. Our language is in process and not fully developed at that age.  Few of us have coherent and conscious memories from that period. If we do remember anything, it is typically sensations as a scent, a feeling, a taste or something of the like. But as a toddler, around 2-3 years old, we also start to train our body-functions. We begin to have control over our bladder and bowel. And ohh… what a success it is! When we pee in the pot, we are praised and celebrated.

I think of that, as one of our first victories in controlling the body and its functions. And all of this happens before our language is fully developed, and therefore we do not have any recollection about what it was like when we were lacking that control. We only have the memory of the feeling of success.

I think this is a key point in the shame and taboo that surrounds incontinence.  The before language success manifests itself in our consciousness. So when life takes a turn, and we are no longer able to control that function, it hits us so hard!  The first ‘I am in control of my body success’ has failed. Personally I did some deep digging into my heart and mind when I became aware of myself as incontinent.  The lack of control, in a world where control is being praised, was the hardest to live with.  Thankfully I am now in control over my bladder. I just have to remember to empty it, so it does not run to full. Without even thinking about it, I keep a small accounting of how much fluid I take in, and how long ago it has been since I last emptied my bladder. No problems there. And when I do go to the toilet to empty my bladder, I use my highly treasured catheter Emteva for ISC, because my Emteva gives me back a sense of that control I lost as a result of my cancer surgery. My ISC catheter Emteva has a lid. When I close it I am able to hold back and get myself ready before the urine starts running. When I am good to go, I open it. It has a small lid, but with a giant function! It gives me my control back. No more ISC with urine on the floor. No more mistakes with urine on the trouser band. No more mistakes with urine in the shoes. Emteva is a prize winning innovative ISC catheter. Emteva has helped me return to living a normal life, and I can only recommend that you try it if you are in a situation where you need to do ISC.

Please feel free to comment on my thoughts. I would love to learn about your opinion and your thoughts.